Rude Haiku

Brewgal has a long commute. Not as long as the 144-mile round trips between Rockville and Gettysburg Mr. Brewguy and I used to make on a daily basis.

I miss the cows and the horses I used to see on those trips up to Pennsylvania. I guess that's why I love Bohemian's photos. It reminds me of those days when I could drive out into the orchards of Adams County, park the car up on a mountain in Ortanna and sit listening to the sounds of birds.

But I digress.

My commute is long enough to allow my mind to wander. I have a few minutes of nice scenery, punctuated by insane Maryland drivers whose time is CLEARLY MORE IMPORTANT than Brewgal's. *deep breaths*

Ahem. Anyway, yesterday, as I was driving home to the dulcet sounds of DC101,* I came up with the following haikus.

For most of you this will be tame stuff. However, I warn those of tremulous sensibility that what follows is rather rude. Naughty bits are referenced. Bodily functions are discussed. Proceed on your own recognizance and don't send me nasty emails because you feel post-hoc offense.




In parenting books
Not once did I read the words
"projectile pooping"


Empire State needle.
Old Doc Big Apple, pricking
the ass of the sky



*Yes, I realize "dulcet" and "DC101" are rarely mentioned in the same context. It's SARCASM, people!