"Get me a scientist!" -- Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano.
As if we're all on retainer and can be called up at a moment's notice like The Geek Squad (TM). Imagine it: huge bands of scientists, roving the countryside, looking for problems to be solved. We could wear badges!*
Cat up a tree? Call a scientist! (a tall one)
That missing sock? Call a scientist!
Global warming? Call a scientist! Oops, did that already. Inspectors general at two agencies have begun an investigation into whether the Bush administration has suppressed government scientists' research on global warming, officials at NASA and the Commerce Department confirmed yesterday.
*Ok, FINE. Everyone repeat after me: "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!" Then if you haven't already, go rent Treasure of the Sierra Madre so you can know whereof you speak.